This is yet another reason to not mess with Darth Vader.
There are folks that collect Star Wars toys, and then there is this guy. Just go look at the pictures. DO IT NOW!
Darth Vader held up a Long Island bank the other day. I, for one, salute his dorktacular commitment. Full story.
I feel like we need to step up to dork level a bit. Here’s my humble attempt at a more pronounced geekery for a Thursday.
Cracked.com has been doing a fine series of photoshop contests lately. I’m partial to the series If History’s Greatest Minds Lived In The Modern World. Check out the facebook exchange between Newton and Pascal. “Shut up Joule!”
I’m going to get a Lawn Jawa. A friend rightly pointed out, “if you don’t get this for your yard then i don’t know you at all”
Ben doesn’t know it yet, but he’s getting Mad Scientist Blocks for Christmas. I think my favorite one is “K is for Potassium”. You bet it is!
There’s a little part of me that has always hated the ewoks. They were the festering boil on the neck of what was otherwise a solid conclusion to the original trilogy. Now, at long last, they have redeemed themselves in at least a small part. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you drunken ewoks moonwalking and humping Al Roker’s leg!
Once in a while I come across something that can only be considered brilliant. Stormtroopers 365 definitely falls in that category. The guy is a talented photographer and has chosen an amazing subject for a daily photo project: stormtrooper action figures on adventures. You can see how these are going to be great. Check out the collection to date and sign up for the daily email. DO IT NOW!
Trooping in the rain
Hopscotch
Danger is everywhere
It’s amazing when even the icing people are embarrassed to be involved with a cake. Or it could just be the nauseating interspecies sexual tension between a princess in a gold bikini and a big naked worm with no obvious genitals. Tough to say.
I never thought I’d see an officially sanctioned Star Wars production that would crap on my childhood more than the last three movies. I was so very wrong. Disneyworld thought it would be fun to turn Star Wars into a dance production. I haven’t seen anything this poorly conceived since somebody decided Carrie Fisher was plenty sober enough to sing the Life Day song. Sigh
Be sure to watch long enough to see Darth Vader bust out the Hammer Dance.
Here’s a disturbing trend for you, “Star Wars Porn” is far and away the most popular search term driving traffic to Please Wash Hands. That’s a pretty good trick since we’ve never posted any actual Star Wars Porn. Perhaps even more interesting, the term is rapidly escalating in volume. I suspect that this is tied to the various sci-fi conventions that all seem to happen in the Spring (has to do with tides), when thousands of sci-fi dorks array themselves in their “finery” and swim furiously upstream in attempt to spawn with the few available females.
Anyway, I’m always up for pandering to the gods of search, so I thought we try to get some more of that Star Wars Porn traffic. Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to present Star Wars double entendres!
- She had a very hairy wookie
- Gonna get up in that tauntaun
- Is that a Y-Wing in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
- His exhaust shaft is two meters wide
- Great, kid. Don’t get cocky.
Hopefully this will result in some amount of coitus dorkus interuptus and more traffic for us. Alright, I’ll throw in one naughty Star Wars pic so you won’t feel cheated. You can see his whole Death Star (note: this is what my nightmares look like).
In honor of Star Wars Day, here’s a collection of odd Star Wars stuff.
