I have no way to appropriately explain the genius of this video. Just watch it. And remember, “I’m inventing electricity and you look like an asshole.”
they made him stronger, faster and cuter
For a long time now I’ve suspected that Tom Hanks would bring about the end of the world. Sure, we all liked Splash but you just can’t trust a guy who was involved in Bosom Buddies and Bachelor Party. While I’d assumed that he’d take the politics-president-nuclear armageddon route, it looks like he has a more direct path to make the attempt. Tom Hanks is going to turn on the Large Hadron Collider (the science dorks reading this have just done a collective spit take. Give them a minute).
A bit of background for the non-dorks. The collider is a giant accelerator designed to break particles down to their smallest components by firing them at each other via a several mile track of electromagnetism.
At its maximum, each particle beam the collider fires will pack as much energy as a 400-ton train traveling at 120 mph. By smashing particles together and investigating the debris, scientists hope to help solve mysteries such as the origin of mass and why there is more matter than antimatter in the universe. [source]
Understanding how the universe works is a good thing. The downside is that there is a splinter contingent of the theoretical physics community who peg the odds of accidentally creating a black hole or some sort of unanticipated strangelet event at 1 in 50 million. Black holes or quantum anomalies are bad (crossing the streams level bad).
So, who gets tapped to press the button that may either lay bare the secrets of the universe or collapse us all into a gravity well so dense that even light cannot escape its pull? Yup, Tom Hanks.
I, for one, am not really comfortable with the idea of Mr. Hanks as my own personal Shiva. In fact, I think there are some other folks we should consider for this particular honor. Ladies and gentlemen, I propose we settle this like true Americans (the collider is in Europe), and put it to a vote.
My nominees to push the button an possibly destroy the world.
- Kim Jong-il - The Dear Leader seems to have his heart set on causing some sort of cataclysmic event. Maybe this will get it out of his system.
- Paris Hilton – There are some that have accused Paris for hastening the decline of Western Civilization. I think that giving her an undue amount of credit. Maybe it will put it in a better perspective if you give her the chance to destroy all civilization.
- Frano Selak – This may very well be the world’s luckiest man. Check out his story.
- The Dalai Lama – I think the universe is not without a sense of irony. What happens with your reincarnation if the world is destroyed?
- Chuck Norris – As the only organism that might overcome the gravitational effects of a black hole, Chuck Norris may be a shoe in.
Cast your vote now:
The Hamster driven nanogenerator is here!
The fine folks at Georgia Tech have gone through the trouble of fitting hamsters with lil tiny jackets to measure their electical output
now watch
This clip is tripping me out. It is a very compelling argument for why private citizens should be absolutely prevented from owning a Chucky Cheese animatronic band. Frightening
