Where is the NRA when we need them? Someone needs to stand up for Little Billy’s simulated second ammendment rights and bring back the snub nose .38 (for kids).
What is a squirrel’s natural state?
a) In a tree
b) Eating nuts
c) Mounted with a machine gun
If you chose C, we have a site for you. Rick’s Custom Squirrels is the single source for all of your custom squirrel needs. A sample for you:
Flags are a reflection of the heart of a people. They are the physical manifestation of their pride and aspirations, the essence of their national character made real. They whisper the histories of nations as they flutter in the breeze. Mozambique’s flag whispers, “I am going to shoot you with an AK-47. Then I might stab you with the bayonet.”
Here at Please Wash Hands, we have a standing rule against hairy men in thongs. Wiley and I discussed it thoroughly at the site’s inception and drew a hard line. Mr. Dunn has forced us to violate that most sacred of rules.
Take a moment to let these burn into your brain. He’s almost hypnotic if you look too long. Scarred for life? Good. Now let’s discuss some of the interesting observations and inferences we can make from the photos.
- He likes guns. He has 8 of them by my count. The next time you defend the second ammendment, Mr. Heston (I know he’s dead but I’m not sure who runs the NRA these days), remember this is the guy your defending.
- Going bald apparently is localized only to the cranial region and does not impact overall hair growth.
- Man is, in fact, descended from apes (or at least hairier men).
- Not all hobbits are cute
- He doesn’t seem to understand that two leather belts do not a bandolier make. Although, his reasons for opting for something other than duct tape are obvious.
- Perhaps most troubling is the guitars. They aren’t real guitars. They’re controllers for Guitar Hero. (Hey Activision guys, your target market has no pants!)
So there you go. Something horrific for your Thursday morning.
Ibeatyou.com is a site dedicated to the competitive spirit in all of us. Obviously, that means I didn’t really pay attention to them. That all changed with this little gem. Come on everybody, cast your vote for your favorite BEST GUN POINTED AT THE CAMERA submission! Hurray!
Screw the money, people. There’s nothing more rewarding you can do in this life than put cold steel in a man’s hand on a rental basis. Don is like an evil Colonel Sanders/Mother Theresa.
Q: How long you need to rent this gun?
A: How far is (a)the nearest gas station (b)my mother in laws house (c)Arkansas?
