Please Wash Hands

There’s nothing sadder than the man trying to keep the brother down.  In this case the man is the Nigerian police force and the brother is a goat that allegedly used to be a car thief.  The original capture story is here.  Anyway, more details have come to light.  The Nigerian police are detaining the goat pending further investigation.  Here’s the best part of the follow up story:

“We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody. We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat,” Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed said.  [read full story]

As a science enthusiast, I would like to volunteer my services to help scientifically prove that this goat used to be a man.  Some initially ideas on how to go about it:

• Shake the goat severely and see if he asks me to stop
• Does he float? (Monty Python fans should giggle now)
• DNA testing
• Gauge reaction of goat porn vs. human porn (may not be entirely accurate)
• Yell “Hey Goat!” and see if he looks

So there you go.  Through effective application of the scientific method we can either condemn a guilty man or free an innocent goat.