Powered surfboard?  You bet it is! The WaveJet has got to be the one of the coolest bits of technology I’ve seen in a while (if you don’t surf, just move along and do whatever it is you people do for a few minutes).  I know that purists will be against the idea of a powered surfboard, but we can’t fear change.  And they are the only chance we have of suppressing the filthy cheating stand up paddle board guys.  Anyway, here’s what I’ve gleaned so far:

•  30 minutes of power from rechargeable lithium batteries
• Self-contained propulsion system (not your arms)
• Capable of up to 8 knots (that’s metric for freaking fast), depending on the model
• Ranges from short boards up through rescue boards. The rescue boards for lifeguards make a ton of sense when you think about it.
• Propulsion is activated and deactivated via a remote control button on a wrist band.
• Steve Walden designed the board shapes so they probably won’t suck.
• Fills an interesting niche for waves too big to paddle into without a tow in

The last time I was on Oahu we surfed the North Shore and I bumped into the WaveJet gang and Steve Walden having lunch.  Really nice guys who are clearly stoked on their boards.  I hope these turn out to be as cool as they look.  Check it out.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtatVM0jGzA

This comes from a cool blog I just found focused on photos of alleys around Los Angeles (yeah, I like the concept too).  Check it out: losangelesalleys.wordpress.com

It’s also worth watching this video to learn a little about the Japanese addressing system.  I realize this isn’t a funny post, but I though it was kind of neat.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1zh49J5rsg

It seems that Google suggestions is becoming a regular feature here on Please Wash Hands.  We’ve already covered some pretty fantastic ones here, here, here, and here.  Might as well keep the trend going.

Can we

• Can weed kill you – This is a surprisingly cogent query given that it is clearly being asked by folks that are way too high (I’m freakin’ out man!).
• Can weed go bad – This is generally the next thing they search for
• Can we live on mars – Yes. Now go sit down, you’re still high.

Can I – This one is fun because the first few suggestions tell a little story.  Thanks google!

• Can I have your number
• Can I tap that
• Can I get pregnant on my period
• Can I has cheeseburger

My hamster – Consider the sad tale of Mr. Hamster as told through Google suggestions.

• My hamster escaped
• My hamster is scared of me
• My hamster smells
• My hamster is sick
• My hamster has a tumor
• My hamster is dying
• My hamster died

So then

• So then I says to Mabel I says – Come on, don’t leave us hanging!!
• so then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him very carefully – I suspect that alcohol may have been involved.
• so then i said to the cop no you’re driving under the influence… of being a jerk – And that’s when he taser’d me
• so then i told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup – Great story, dude.  Now how about you get back there and finish emptying my septic tank?
• so then i was like avada kedavra and he was like dead – J.K. Rowling was just getting lazy with the last couple of books.

Why does

• why does asparagus make urine smell – It wants to make sure you feel like you got your money’s worth
• Why does ice float – Because it’s less dense than water
• Why does poop float – Because it’s make of magical colon ice
• Why does google have two l’s – Um, dude, look at the question you just asked.  I’ll wait.
• Why does my vag smell – Well, you have to take into account that vagabonds don’t generally have access to shower facilities when they ride the rails.  They may go weeks living out of their polka-dot handkerchief bindles in a single set of clothes. Oh wait, you meant vagina?  Yeah, you better have that thing looked at.

Let’s see what google has to say about itself.

Google loves

• Google loves you – Oh, that’s sweet
• Google loves me – That’s nice too
• Google loves video – That would explain the $1.6 billion they spent on youtube
• Google loves blogs – I’m sure they are all reading Please Wash Hands on a regular basis

Google hates

• Google hates you – You’re hot then you’re cold. We can’t go on like this!
• Google hates bambi – It’s a little know fact that Larry and Sergey shot Bambi’s mom
• Google hate mexicans – This makes sense when you think about it.  There’s an endless stream of PhD level search engineers flowing across the border willing to tune crawlers and search algorithms for less than minimum wage.  They’re going to steal all of our search and contextually targeted advertising jobs!

That’s it for this installment.  Be sure to send over any good suggestions you see.